brazenbutterflyfragilewings:

gemscarstairs:

lipstickandligature:

thephotogfeminist:

"Losing your virginity" will henceforth be called "your sexual debut".

Because you’re not fucking losing anything.

YES. 

YES

I’m a fan of opening night as well

actualucifer:

AND DON’T

FUCKING

TELL PEOPLE

THAT THEY’RE NOT TRYING

BECAUSE HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW IF THEY’RE TRYING OR NOT

JUST BECAUSE IT DOESN’T LIVE UP TO YOUR STANDARDS DOESN’T MEAN THEY’RE NOT TRYING

churchofsterek:

gallifreyslocked:

when i was in year 5, i did a speech on clumsiness for my school’s public speaking contest and to be clever, i tripped on my way to the stage dropping my note cards all over the place, but then i pulled the real ones out of my pocket saying ‘if you’re going to be clumsy, it pays to be prepared!’

everyone lost their shit and i got second place

If you got second place who got first… Did they talk about fire safety and burn the stage down or something

"Not a lucky hero until one reaches the Great Wall" Chairman Mau (at The Great Wall of China 🇨🇳)
1

"Not a lucky hero until one reaches the Great Wall" Chairman Mau (at The Great Wall of China 🇨🇳)

prlor:

The Surnames in Harry Potter Saga.

Dedicated to Jeihan.

You’ll pry my Oxford comma from my cold, dead, and lifeless hands.

methlaboratories:

i want this for christmas 

methlaboratories:

i want this for christmas 

fedswatching:

pour one out to the neopets we left for dead

image

bisexualfunfacts:

Fact: Unlike the gay agenda™, the bisexual agenda contains a 15 minute break for snacks between sessions.

15-Year-Old African Kid Tells Madonna To Go ‘Have Sex’ with Herself
15-Year-Old African Kid Tells Madonna To Go ‘Have Sex’ with Herself

almightykushlord:

Dakarai Molokomme, a 15-year-old starving child from a small village in Zimbabwe, has just told , one of the most famous pop stars in the world, to  and f*** , the local media are reporting exclusively.

“Yes, it’s true, I told Madonna to go f*** herself. Do you want to know why?” Dakarai asked. “It’s the same thing every time with these snobby rich Americans. Every once in a while they come to show us their support for the so-called eradication of poverty by adopting a child from a starving family, but they actually do more harm than good. Transracial international adoptions are part of the white savior industrial complex,” Dakarai explained.

In further discussions with journalists from the media, the  stated that “none of the children here actually want to be taken away from their family and friends so they can be displayed as some kind of trophy in the homes of self-righteous singers or actors who want to score some points with the media and Oprah.”

“If they really want to help us, they should get Big Pharma to ship us some anti-retroviral drugs for the AIDS epidemic, or build schools and hospitals. If they don’t want to do that, then they can all go f** themselves!” the child told reporters.

The 15-year-old also stated that he would say the same thing to any one of those American or European “faux humanitarian posers”, except for Bono, whom he said he would also kick in the groin.

“Bono’s efforts to save the African savage from itself prove that the colonial imperative is alive and well,” Dakarai said as he walked with other village children collecting sticks to build a tree fort.

THIS IS THE RAWEST 15 YEAR OLD ALIVE